vanity flair

my mother said, if you don't have anything good to say, keep your mouth shut.

so i have been quiet. but i opened my blog in this dark, grey and rainy day (coming home after work) and it stared back at me with the eyes of a neglected child.

so i decided i'll post something -

even if it is just a vanity post of pictures of me in prague and amsterdam. it's the reason i have to catch up with the work that was left behind and ignore my blog anyway.

here's me thinking i was in the tower next to the bridge where tom hanks saved matt damon's privates - not.



here's me trying to toss in a fountain (turned on by the cherubic angels) - drat that colleague who keeps on taking my pics!



and then so - tired from all that...



finally - i couldn't leave prague without paying homage to kawadjan for that obligatory jumpshot. (apologies to the ultimate jump shot goddess - i can't pout while doing this and instead open my mouth like an idiot)



in amsterdam i laid low and killed time in a sidewalk cafe near the flower market



but i guess even when you are travelling incognito the paparazzi will still catch you as you leave the esprit shop thinking how outrageously you spent your hard earned money on something you don't need.



OK that's it. my mother is probably right - i should've just keep my mouth and blog shut. but hey - any self-respecting faggot should indulge his vanity once in a while, right?

simple

the things that make me most happy are most basic: eating, sleeping, shitting, fucking, and washing (shower is cool enough but bath – when it’s available – even better). if i can spend the rest of my life doing just these simple things i think i will be a very happy man. simple.

wait.

that sounds self-centred, doesn’t it? shouldn’t loving make me happy? after all these basic things are elevated to a higher plane if you share it with somebody you have tender feelings for. ok, maybe not shitting. guess i’m not that kinky.

putting loving into the mix might make me less self-centred but does not make me less selfish. so let’s put working to make me relevant. after all, many observe that i spend a disproportionate amount of time doing my non-profit, change-the-world work. more time than all the basic things that make me happy plus time i spend with my loved ones put together. the truth is, i have observed that nothing defines my self-esteem, my sense of self-worth, more than how well (or how bad) i do at work.

however, it is also at work that i feel most stressed. so i escape in watching movies and shopping. these two are my favourite sanctuaries from the ugliness in the world. there is no pain of having to deal with the wrongs inside and outside the workspace that a good old-fashioned hollywood popcorn film, a new pair of italian leather shoes or designer bags cannot put to right.

and then there are the absolute luxuries like reading, writing, dancing and singing. things that i love doing but hardly have the time for.

wait there’s also smoking, drinking, exercising, talking…

godddamit.

i started writing this post wanting to make a point how simple the path to happiness can be. i thought simplifying will make it easier.

still, a simple listing shows the near impossibility of doing everything within the finite time we all have to do it in. and that’s not even citing the innate conflict between these things. smoking vs. exercising, shopping vs. the non-profit work, sleeping vs. fucking, the list goes on and becomes more incriminating.

clearly, the happy me is a work in progress.

it’s that simple.

***
illustration in this post from xkcd: a webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math and language.