Thursday, May 14, 2009

breeders in malate


after reading my post, fiery godfather, my friends felt a bit bothered that i was feeling that they have no occasion to celebrate my life choices and milestones.

so they decided to make up one – the occasion of my successful root canal procedure. like really now.

not to miss an opportunity to further a cause, i suggested that we meet in malate in order to participate in task force pride’s activity on the occasion of the international day against homophobia. they all said it was my party so they were in.

most people arrived by pairs. noticeably without kids. ok, one had 2 bodyguards, but (unlike kids) they did not need to be the centre of attention.

once seated in o-bar, one of the guys was uncomfortable. he asked me if it safe to go to the toilet, telling me if somebody’s just going to look at his prick while peeing, he’ll be ok with it. i laughed and told him he should be fine and should not flatter himself. another asked if we need to take off our shirts for the activity. and yet another observed that the waiters were ‘yummy’. the girls even went up to check-out the kinky underwear and sex toys in top & bottom store.

it was clear that while most of them may be straight, they were willing to be gay for the day (err, night) for me. and from the looks of it, they were enjoying it, too.

too bad we got too entertained by the chit-chat amid the loud thumpa-thumpa music and friday night revelry of nakpil (or maybe i didn’t get the details right?). by the time we got to remedios circle, not one of the tfp’s usual suspects were there. not to be daunted by the slight hiccup, we took the chance for a photo op.

with no one bitching about the fact that we missed what we braved QC to manila traffic for, we had coffee and cakes in cafe adriatico.

we parted ways later than usual (1:30 am!).

as we were saying goodbyes, i felt a wave of love for my friends when i realised that while they may not share (nor understand) my world, they recognise that my life choices are as valid and need to be celebrated as much as their relatively conventional ones.

these breeders, they’re all right.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

fiery godfather


i’m a favourite godfather to my friends’ and family’s children.

not that i mean the children prefer me to the others who have committed to be their second parents, i mean my friends and family like assigning me this task.

living a life of a gay man is not exactly an automatic indication of street cred when it comes to rearing or nurturing a child. i would think, normally, that it will be otherwise.

i wonder if they think, that being gay,i should be more feminine and thus share the mothering instincts of women?

or worse, they choose me because of the illusion of pink money - gays, imminently successful and usually without the financial burden of parenting, have disposable income to throw around?

a friend, to whom i shared these thoughts, said that they are not intending to die soon – thus nullifying the need for me to step in as a parent in the foreseeable future. she said my value as godfather is really all about the life skills i can impart my godchildren. i nodded in quiet contemplation, as if indicating my satisfaction to her explanation - all the while thinking that the value of my impeccable taste in shoes will probably only kick in if the little critters grow up to share my passion for footwear.

jp, recovering from a flu was feeling surly the other day and asked me (after the nth similar function i said we had to attend), ‘shall we have a schedule of things they have to attend for us, then?

while i put it to the fact that he is not feeling well, there’s the issue of consistent obligation to celebrate the milestones of the friends and family’s life. and the lion-share of these entails their children. birthdays, recognition days, graduations, proms and every imaginable rites of passage. while i do this without question for my family and friends’ children, i can hardly expect them to celebrate the acquisition of a new pair of shoes, a new job or my dog’s successful castration. what do they have to celebrate for me then?

i wonder if this anxiety hits home now because i am in my mid-life without securing my progeny.

do biological clocks tick for gay men the same way it does for women?

after days of mulling over these thoughts, i decided this: my family and friends are compensating for the fact that my life choices led me to this childless existence. they all say parenting is one of the most fulfilling things you will do in your life. i would like to think, that it is their concern over the fact that i might be missing out on this experience that they wish to share with me even a fraction of what it might be like.

or so i tell myself.

but that will do for now.

tomorrow, is my good friend m’s child’s baptism. i think i might be one of the godfathers again. i’m deciding on the appropriate outfit to wear.

while i may not be a father, i’m going to do my damnest best to be the hottest godfather.

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