destination request

i want to go to that place
not rendered incomplete
by your absence.

i want to be able to look at the sunset
and not feel cheated
at the prospect of another day
ending without you.
i want to lie in bed
and go to sleep without whispering goodnight
saying your name like a prayer
to go to sleep without the violent pain
not numbed by the redemption of unconsciousness
always too long to descend.
i want to look at the sea,
i want to marvel at these mountains,
i want to turn my head towards the sky
and not want to beg
all these to stop reminding me
of the immense distance between us.
i want to walk a street corner
and not secretly hope
that you'll be walking my way
this turn or maybe just the next one.
i want to go inside my skin
and not find a gaping hole.
mostly, i just want to stop trembling
at stopping myself from screaming
in anger
at the injustice of every space
taking drowning expanse without you.
i want to go home
and not be scared i won't find my way
if you are not there.
i want to escape
but i fear
i really just want to be where you are
if only i don't know i won't see myself
in your eyes.

so if it's not too much to ask
tell me where else can i go.