Friday, July 3, 2009


the things that make me most happy are most basic: eating, sleeping, shitting, fucking, and washing (shower is cool enough but bath – when it’s available – even better). if i can spend the rest of my life doing just these simple things i think i will be a very happy man. simple.


that sounds self-centred, doesn’t it? shouldn’t loving make me happy? after all these basic things are elevated to a higher plane if you share it with somebody you have tender feelings for. ok, maybe not shitting. guess i’m not that kinky.

putting loving into the mix might make me less self-centred but does not make me less selfish. so let’s put working to make me relevant. after all, many observe that i spend a disproportionate amount of time doing my non-profit, change-the-world work. more time than all the basic things that make me happy plus time i spend with my loved ones put together. the truth is, i have observed that nothing defines my self-esteem, my sense of self-worth, more than how well (or how bad) i do at work.

however, it is also at work that i feel most stressed. so i escape in watching movies and shopping. these two are my favourite sanctuaries from the ugliness in the world. there is no pain of having to deal with the wrongs inside and outside the workspace that a good old-fashioned hollywood popcorn film, a new pair of italian leather shoes or designer bags cannot put to right.

and then there are the absolute luxuries like reading, writing, dancing and singing. things that i love doing but hardly have the time for.

wait there’s also smoking, drinking, exercising, talking


i started writing this post wanting to make a point how simple the path to happiness can be. i thought simplifying will make it easier.

still, a simple listing shows the near impossibility of doing everything within the finite time we all have to do it in. and that’s not even citing the innate conflict between these things. smoking vs. exercising, shopping vs. the non-profit work, sleeping vs. fucking, the list goes on and becomes more incriminating.

clearly, the happy me is a work in progress.

it’s that simple.

illustration in this post from xkcd: a webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math and language.


kawadjan said...

"there is no pain of having to deal with the wrongs inside and outside the workspace that a good old-fashioned hollywood popcorn film, a new pair of italian leather shoes or designer bags cannot put to right."

-- I'm printing this as we speak and will post it on the door of my ref. So affirming, Kiel! I feel so normal. Thanks. Tse!

line of flight said...

i think the question of narcissism precedes questions about whether "love" really isn't self-centered.

JP aka handyman said...

what we think of as the simple life, is actually very complex; it is work and sacrifice and timing and waiting and figuring out how to make do... it is far from simple.

kiel estrella said...

@ kawadjan - either we're normal or we need to join shopaholics anonymous soon. haha.

@ lof - does that mean i'm a hopeless narcissist?

@ JP - mismo.

cb :: 林偉文 said...

nothing is ever simple. haha don't hurt yourself for wanting the finer things in life. :D

line of flight said...

hahah! i was struck by "shouldn't loving make me happy" but after reflecting more about it, we always get back to the problems of definitions associated with vague terms like "love" ...

id said...

u- simple?

ur life- simple?

ur happiness- simple?

hello, katie girl!

kiel estrella said...

@ cb -i won't hurt myself naman. naman. enuff to whine about it. haha.

@ lof - phew! kala ko you hate me so much na, eh. haha. but is love really vague for you? because for me, it's one of the few things in life that i'm clear about...

@ id - love the rejoinder post. kung ako man si katie girl, (unlike sa movie) i still hope na i'll keep my hubbel to make being happy simple. yey! asa pa.

line of flight said...

love is not vague for to me, but it can describe a number of different things for different people. and most adolescent forms of "love" are really rationalized narcissism which is why definitions become important on a philosophical blog like yours. =P

kiel estrella said...

@ lof - yey! may nagsabi na philosophical ang blog ko! haha

Dawn said...

Love and Loving are two different things...

Happy and Happiness are two diff things too..

To love doesn't neccessarily mean one is happy about it.
In the same way that being loved doesn't neccessarily makes you happy..

It depends who you're doing it for and why. Selfless love is overrated and self-indulgence is always put into bad light..

Love yourself. Isn't this what we always say. To do this then everything else will follow??

For me, LOVE is an energy that its nature is to be shared. there is no good love or bad love. Its just is. HAPPINESS is a state of mind that. Period. That simple.

the only common ground is that others are affected by it, or can relate to it but to make the mistake to intertwine the two makes Life not only complicated, but miserable at best..

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