Wednesday, July 7, 2010

eclipsed by reason

is there a reason why we choose the people we love?

jp were bored last wednesday so we decided to watch a movie. upon arrival at gateway, we noticed that gone is the usual silent, brooding and cruisy gay crowd and in its place are masses of teeny boppers and baby boomers, single ladies and partnered ones with their irate boyfriends and husbands suffering some sort of mania that is eclipse.

what is a nosy boy to do? of course, we bought tickets to find out what the hullabaloo is all about. after lining up for what felt like for ever, we got tickets to watch it after two days (!).

so came friday, armed with blankies and an open mind that this may actually turn out to be a decent movie and is more than just our dirty-old-men need to see muscular boys running around half naked, i settled down to my lazy boy chair and watched.

two hours after, i am nursing a beer thinking about the movie. not so much about it (since jp and i agreed that the best part was the lazy boy chairs in the platinum cinema), but the questions it raised in my mind.

one question in my mind is related to one of the most common themes in many romantic stories – being put in a situation where you have to choose between two people you love. (bella had to choose between pattinson’s edward and lautner’s jacob. tough choice but with such delicious options, how can she complain? the bitch!)

as the story goes, the decision was ruled by something akin to consistency theory: that is, making decisions in order to try to achieve a maximum practical level of consistency in our world. when bella explained her decision to edward (and i am paraphrasing here), she said it was because she always felt like an outcast with humans (that causes some dissonance) and her experiences with the bloodsuckers lead her to believe that this is where she belonged. thus, being ‘turned’ will result in consistency of her identity and comfort zones.

i thought that while this was such a ‘practical’ approach to deciding on who to love, it was rather unbelievable. because, seriously, in real life – do we even try to reason out the decisions we make when it comes to love? and if we make our decision on love practical, does it still qualify as love? will it be love if it is ruled by reason or worse, convenience?

my take is: when it comes to love decisions, we decide what we decide. we can intellectualise it all we want but in the end, it's like finding reason in deciding between a vampire and a werewolf: unreal and unnecessary.


wanderingcommuter said...


laughtrip ang photo!


paci said...

wow. ibang saga ito! =) kakatuwa.

ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ said...

if anyone doubts that there is an unconscious level to decision-making, they only have to look at love and attraction. by the way, like the new set up, is that the White Tara on the back?

Mu[g]en said...

In the end, its all about listening to what the heart says.

Who said emotions have reasons?

Boying Opaw said...

i met this guy once that introduced me to this weird but strangely compelling idea of a serious three-way relationship. it's like, i might believe a three-way sexual encounter but a three-way relationship? what in the world is that?

this got me to thinking. maybe, in those situations where we have to choose between two people we love, just maybe, we are not supposed to choose at all. maybe we should have them both.

hahahahaha! ang landi lang.

is there a reason why the people we love choose us?

kiel estrella said...

@ wc - ang saya di ba? hahaha

@ paci - talagang ibang saga. saga-sa. as in road kill. mwahahaha

@ lof - glad my favourite reader likes the new set-up. i'd like to think of my tattoo as all sorts of tara depending on what is needed. parang alias of taras.

@ mugen - your heart speaks? pa-listen naman... hahaha

@ boying - malandi ka talaga. actually, i thought about discussing the movie from the issue of polyamory. kasi parang foregone conclusion sa eclipse na pwede talagang magmahal ng marami kesa isa. i still might.

id said...

dahling, bella wanted both of them for different purposes - parang tide at downy. walang problema kung gusto mo both or all of the above. eklat lang ni bella yung 'reasons' nya

kiel estrella said...

@ id - alam mo naman ako, naniniwala sa pronoucements. mga babae talaga - never saying what they actually mean!

ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ said...

*blush* ... i went to a U.S. anti-imperialism rally about 8 years ago dressed in nothing but a dhoti with the 100 syllable mantra temporarily tattooed around my body -- clockwise. i went across the street to the pro-US imperialism counter-protest just to share the love and I have never seen people so nervous. it was very funny what people see when they are convinced everyone that isn't like them is a terrorist. perhaps I should have instead had one of the Taras tattooed on my back.

kiel estrella said...

@ lof - and you join AI rallies! di lang kita favourite, crush na kita. so the question is, were you wearing something under the dhoti?

ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ said...

well i had a white shawl in the shape of sanghata robe but i left it on the bus on the way there. so no, dhoti lang... =P

jericho said...

isa kang dyosa sa picture.

love guru! .. basta ako, i'll take the whole pack - jacob's and all the ups and downs that love can give. chos!

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