Friday, November 21, 2008

holding on to love in transit

this post is inspired by g’s uncertainties.

i used to love travelling. why? well it's like an foolproof guarantee that i'll be reminded that somebody hates to see me leave or happy to see me come home.

remember ‘love actually’? the prime minister played by hugh grant (!) narrates at the beginning of the film,

"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gateat Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspision love actually is all around"

that's all very well until manila traffic became prohibitive that i clearly discourage anybody from taking or picking me up from the airport. lately though, more arduous than manila traffic is that i’ve been travelling so much, that the romance of the airport scene lost its novelty. now it's more 'see yah' *wave* than 'i hate to see you go' *hug* *hug* *tighter hug* *kiss*.

don’t get me wrong. in the light of the financial crisis, i’m thankful to have a job. any job. and i realise that people who wish they travel more for work might feel, “we’re supposed to feel sorry for you?”

i get it. g and i are divas.

but let me show you what i mean before proceeding. pics with proposed captions in parenthesis follows:

this is me in Beijing airport... (fierce) against the snowy peaks near Bishkek (cold) in Istanbul airport (jet-lagged)

...and finally me in Geneva airport (lost in yonkers)

don’t i just look increasingly constipated in these pictures? and i was taking my own pictures, how pathetic is that?

worse, my personal trainer tells me last week that i gained body fat percentage (from 14 to 16%) the last time i took a long trip that made me miss my sessions. i tell you, i can move mountains to get the job done but turning fat for any job is just not worth it!

i hate it.

sorry, i was being frivolous.

seriously though, what i am worried about is that jp and i are starting to fight more and more, almost in direct proportion to the increase in the time i spend away from him to do these trips. and while i might concede that vanity is capricious, my relationship is simply a non-negotiable.

maybe i don’t hate traveling. maybe i simply hate that it takes me away from the person i love.

on tuesday, i’m leaving for Doha and be gone for 9 days. i’m hoping jp won’t have a meeting that morning so he can take me to the airport this time. just before he waves i'll *hug* *hug* *tighter hug* *kiss*.


kawadjan said...

love ko ang pic mo sa istanbul. did ylmaz pick you up?

di ba pwedeng bitbitin si jp sa mga trips mo?


maybe i don’t hate traveling. maybe i simply hate that it takes me away from the person i love.

that makes sense, i think. sino ba naman ang gustong iwan ang irog di ba? lol.

jericho said...

i used to love traveling. then i realized that i've got a crappy passport that gives me too much stress when I go process for visas. now the only travel i look forward to is my vacation back home :(

G ' s ex said...

i really love your post. my life is just a contrary to what you write about travelling. i love travelling just because i could be away from a place where i call home or even a far-away land where i spent a long time to study. this is to allow myself to get away from wallowing in loneliness and thinking about the past with my ex (who is your best friend). also, i am not taking care of myself any more after he left me. i've kept eating and now i'm fat like an no one will love me again. it's just to hold on to my love in transit.

it's amazing how love can create and destroy my life. i wish i could move on with my life just like gibo...getting to know someone new and falling in love again and again.

now back to where i belong, i'm dying soon because cancer loves me. it won't get away from my body. i'm learning to live with it.

should i also call this 'my life in a transit'?

don't hold on to love in transit. it never exists in reality.

fuchsiaboy said...

love is such a complicated thing and the situation we are in. some people choose to love unselfishly without asking for something in return. some needs to be constantly validated by the presence of the love one. while others thread the path where they just simply try to make it work. :)

eh kung katuladitch ka naman kay lola dyan na bittergourd ocampo eh magbababu nga naman talaga ang love one mo. kalorkey galore! :)

Kiks said...

this post makes me want to travel more. except the feeling of hug hug kiss tighter hug.

why are LDRs so hard?

no need to answer the question.

Mr. Scheez said...

Hmmm, iniisip ko kung sino ang kahawig ni itay sa pics. Hmmm. =)

kiel said...

@ kawadjan - ylmaz is still traumatised, he says i remind him of ruffa too much. so NO sa 1st question. sa 2nd question, ang trabaho ko hindi ito yung tipo na pwedeng may congressional hearing dahil sa may spouse na kasama sa trip. this is a poor ngo. my travels are all funded elsewhere. besides - jp has his own work to do. so gain NO.

@ prosetitute - korek!

@ jericho - i face that,too. but didn't mention it just in case i sound like i complain about everything...

@ mr. g's ex - i'm sorry about your situation and that you feel that way but thanks for dropping in anyway.

@ don - yes, bitterness is a nasty thing.

@ kiks - all relationships are difficult, in the case of LDR you work it out with distance involved so hirap, di ba teh?

The Zen Bitch said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Zen Bitch said...

all of us in a constant state of traveling, or being in transit... kahit physically ay kapiling natin ang ating mga kaibigan at mga kakayungyangan ay di pa rin guaranteed na nandyan nga sila... in the same manner, hindi rin por que palaging nasa biyahe ang ating irog ay ibig sabihin ay magkalayo nga talaga kayo...

sa tingin ko, ang pagiging matagumpay ng isang relasyong puno ng paglalakbay ay nakasalalay sa kung gaano katindi ng tiwala (sa sarili at isa't-isa) at kung gaano kahina ang sidhi ng insekuridad at pagmamapait ng magsing-irog...

holding on to a love in transit? wala akong nakikitang masama o mahina dito... basta alam mo ang ginagawa mo (at tanggap mo lahat ng bunga nito--mabuti man o masama)... keri!

Mr. Scheez said...

At a certain angle, kahawig mo pala si Raymong Bagatsing. Hehehe =)

kiel said...

@ zb - ang lalim. i like that, the idea that distance is relative. sasabihin ko yan kay jp. hahaha. salamat, nakakalakas ng loob.

@ mr. scheez - ano ka, si bong dun sa Requiem for a Fling series ko? yun din ang sinabi nya (see part 2), kaya nalaman kong gusto nya akong hadain. ayoko ng incest! hahahaha

Mr. Scheez said...

Hahaha, natawa ako tatay. =)

mel beckham said...

Kung pagod na kayong bumyahe, ako na lang gawin nyong rep nang matatakan naman passport ko. Lol

tgc po sa mga byahe!

kiel said...

@ scheez - ako hindi...

@ mel - nakiki-po ka pa dyan. ay sya, apply ka na sa org ko, para ikaw na ang byumahe para sa akin. feel mo ba lumipat sa maynila at maging NGO bunny katulad ko? sige na...

Mr. Scheez said...

Ay di ka ba natawa tatay? Sorry. Wala akong ibig sabihin dun sa Raymond Bagatsing thingy, ha? Kahawig mo lang talaga sya =)

kiel said...

@ scheez - sabi mo eh. kahit may ibig sabihin ka. hahahaha

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