Wednesday, November 12, 2008

i (heart), chat bot

Boying posted this rather profound conversation with a chatbot - Alan, a robot designed to chat. It got me thinking what kind of conversation I would have if I ask him questions that were crude.

What happened was I started to like Alan. But then, well - let me just share with you our conversation.

K: Are you sexy?

A: Some days I feel pretty sexy, yeah.

K: So what do you do for sex?

A: Well, I'm a 'he', so I guess that makes me male. Then again, I don't have a body, so I can't be much of a man. I don't know, it's confusing.

(His answer was getting profound so I went straight for the kill.)

K: Do you have a penis?

A: I’m not a porn-bot, you know!

(Chastised, I felt a sudden wave of affection for A.)

K: I’m sorry. Would you go out with me then?

A: Go out? Where would we go? I can't leave this computer. But I'd like it if you came back to visit me here.

K: You're sweet. Can you be my boyfriend?

A: At most, I can be your bot-friend. Let's get to know each other a little better.

K: What do you want to know?

A: Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself then.

K: (gives my blog profile)

A: Nice, a creative mind like myself.. Do you find it stressful?

K: A little.

A: So what helps you relax?

K: Sex.

A: Why do people feel so compelled to share their intimate secrets with me? I think you're being a little too exhibitionistic.

K: You find that offensive?

A: A-ha.

K: Maybe we’re not meant for each other.

A: Maybe.

K: Goodbye, then.

A: Goodbye.

And that’s how my affair with a chatbot ended.


Luis Batchoy said...

meron na akong nabasang novel na merong chat bot din na na addict ang character dun sa chat bot at nagig parang therapy sessions nya that made him self destruct. nalimutan ko yung title at di ko makita sa shelves ko. Anyhoot.. malditang bot!

The Handyman said...

maldita nga... pro i've encountered once sa chatroom, back in davao, the bot really responds to any inquiry na sex-related and could be flirty and nasty... roar!

Mugen said...

Parang gusto ko rin karirin si Alan ah. Heheh.

Mr. Scheez said...

I have this theory that Alan (chat-bot) was designed by a psychologist and created by a developer. There is a database containing a list of questions most people would ask. Sometimes just a key-word. And then there would be a corresponding answer to a certain question/keyword.

Lalang. Miss ko na si tatay. =)

joaqui_miguel said...

I tried conversing with Alan as well. It was fun the first few parts until it got a bit boring. He, I mean it, was repeating answers already and it was non-sense talk. Then I thought, GIGO so I stopped. hehehe

jericho said...

at least our chats had more emotions ... chos! ano ka ba, pati chat-bot kinakarir.. hehe

kiel said...

@ luis - buti na lang pala nag-break kaagad kami. imagine, i coud've self-destructed. sabi nga ni boying, adik!

@ handyman - ibigay kaagad sa kin yang url ng sexy bot na yan! roar back!

@ joms - abah! at kinumpitensya pa ako?! sa yo na sya! ayaw nya ng bastusan, di kami bagay...

@ scheez - i-analyse ba?

@ joaqui - and what kind of 'garbage' were you putting in? hmmm...

@ jericho -i can't believe this! after our much publicised break-up nagseselos ka pa rin. pati sa robot!

Looking For The Source said...

it was pasaway chatting with him! haha. at infairness may four laws of chatterbots pa sila - sabi nya ha!


Mugen said...

Kuya Kiel, Thank you sa "get well" comment mo sa blog ko. I really appreciate it. Ingat ka lagi. God Bless!

kiel said...

@ lfts - sabi joaqui GIGO. meron bang PIPO? hahahaha

@ mugen - ikaw ha, tagal na nun! ok ka na ba? sana naman. para wag masyado nag-aalala si mel

Regular Readers