Sunday, April 5, 2009

mona lisa syndrome

jp once told me, you are like the monalisa, you are nice to look at, but not much use for anything else. that comment did not hit home until much later when i realised that i have been infected by the da vinci virus.

the da vinci virus infects the unknowing, but fully healthy individuals as host. before you know it you are one piece of work, err… art.

latent symptoms include:
• over-articulation
• over-intellectualisation
• self-indulgence

full blown syndrome to watch out for:
ISO sarcoma – unrealistic standard applied to everybody including oneself
pronoun disorder – inability to recognise anything but i and me, a.k.a. me- as-earth pre-copernicus syndrome
paparazzi paranoia – delusion of persecution of the tmz-type reporters and yet posing for pictures not being taken
hysterical garp blindness – sudden bouts of failure to perceive a world not according to one’s definition
delusion of rebonded rapunzel – delusion of hair so long, so smooth - flipping it would make the asian tsunami look like a drop in the bucket

initial morbidity reports claim that long-time sufferers eventually die alone.

unfortunately, there is no known cure. there are anecdotal reports, however, that a good dose of talking-down-to by undaunted close friends can make the syndrome almost a manageable disease.

thankfully, my early diagnosis aided by my partner's astute observation led to better disease management. i reject being a cordoned-off picture, no matter how pretty (and even that is a subject of debate). as my good friend fuschiaboy reminds me…

“refusal is elegance.”

look at the mirror and ask yourself, am i infected? better yet ask your most cheeky friend.

smile, mona lisa.


line of flight said...

sounds like a disease of my adolescence.

The Zen Bitch said...

parang gustong umiral ng aking hypochondriasis at magsisigaw ng 'ako rin may ganyang sakeeet!'

kiel estrella said...

@ line - you mean you outgrew it? you must be a statistical anomaly because from my observation - it's like alzheimer's - it gets worse with age. haha

@ zen - shall we set up a support group?

Luis Batchoy said...

meron din ako ganyang mona lisa pic sa column ko way back in the college paper. Aliw!

Now show me some lovin and vote for me as RBP's Blog of the week for week 7. Kampanya na toh!

line of flight said...

it's possible (but as you rightly note, not probable), the process is certainly not for the meek.

Anonymous said...

Wala pa naman ako ng sakit na ito. Though gusto ko yung TMZish type of stalking. Feeling famous. Hehehe =)

-- Your Anakis

mrs.j said...

its been a while i missd being here..

so i heard a lot of kwentos from lyka ha.. hows life?/ love life? hehe

p.s monalisa k n sana my kilay lng.. tsuk!

kiel estrella said...

@ luis - vinote na kita. i even tried to cheat and vote for you twice. pero ayaw eh. ganyan kita kamahal - i will cheat for you. hahahaha

@ scheez - in denial ka lang. my gene runs in your veins kaya di pwedeng wala kang hawa.

@ mrs. j - oks lang ako.aba brooke shields circa pretty baby - super kilay! mwahahaha

id said...

fantastic, kiel. kakaibang holy week reflection ito, medical pa ang argument.

kawadjan said...

Oh dahling, tell me about it! This is an epidemic ha.

kiel estrella said...

@ id - thanks. remember i was mistaken for a doctor in africa? kinarir ko na. hahaha

@ kawadjan - join ka na sa support group. it can be a joint monalisa and mandals one. after all, having mandals is one rare symptom that is does not need any diagnosis!

fuchsiaboy said...

i refuse to comment.

elegance is refusal.


fuchsiaboy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kiel estrella said...

@ fuschiaboy - did i get that wrong? hmmmm. i refuse to correct myself - for elegance. tse!

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